Re: moving to Ireland

Brian Fenton (fentonb@mathds1.maths.ul.ie)
Wed, 02 Jul 1997 18:34:11 +0100 (WET DST) 

Matthew wrote:
>totally unrelated to the above ramblings. . . i'm considering a move
> to ireland within the year, have any advice?

	yup.
 bring:
 an umbrella, your own dope, a high alcohol tolerance, a sense of humour,
 a belief in ghosts and leprachauns and the little folk, an educated 
 opinion on Northern Ireland, a healthy sense of irony (comes in handy 
 for the previous item as does the sense of humour (and the belief in
 ghosts, leprachauns and the little people)), a proper English (not 
 American) dictionary (so that it doesn't look like everything you write
 should be in a neon sign), a multinational corporation willing to employ 
 20,000 (highly educated but alcoholic) young people, a couple of good 
 soccer players with Irish grandparents... oh yeah and bring me over a 
 few of those Reece's chocolate peanut butter things, I just can't get
 my hands on them over here.

 leave behind:
 sensitivity to racism, tastebuds, your driving licence (unless you've
 pockets of money to pay for car and insurance), shamrock-type paraphenalia 
 and other patronising assortments, your U2 albums, pretensions to literary
 greatness (you might as well get used to it before you arrive here: you'll 
 never be as good as us - it's in our blood!), expectations of good service,
 those dreadful baseball caps that have taken over the planet (who invented 
 the blasted things anyway - some baseball person? a moron? They're ruining
 the art of haircutting! What's gotten into people?), expectations of 
 punctuality, any sort of body piercing or other grotesquerie - you'll be
 sent right back on the next flight after having each ornament meticulously
 removed with a rusty hedge clippers (but we'll let you keep your baseball 
 cap)...
 
 looking forward to seeing you (and don't forget those Reeces) 
 
 turn me over, I'm done
-- 
Brian 
fentonb@mathds1.ul.ie  
VENEER homepage: http://mathds1.ul.ie:8080/~fentonb/index.html
"..it was like telling Knock-knock jokes to a Bedouin..." - Michael Mee