Re: a modern sorrow

jordie chambers (jordiekc@rocketmail.com)
Fri, 04 Jun 1999 21:45:27 -0700 (PDT) 

All true, especially the part about indivuality playing
more of a part in deciding our reactions to loss.  But, if
we aren't condemned by it, we certainly aren't encouraged
to let our emotions free at a funeral, men that do are
usually unscorned but are considered weaker (either in
their own minds or the minds of their peers) for their
untraditional show of feminity.  Of course, an feast of
emotion at a funeral might lead to silliness or chaos like
a Lord of the Flies type gathering with accountants
running around in thongs.  The Sioux or Seminoles were
encouraged to play, despite their loss.  Funeral
receptions and wakes can be beneficial to those who loved
the deceased, but for the most part, it is a busy,
confusing time, one that demands the deceased's loved ones
to show emotional control if they don't feel like they're
under control.  Bills to pay, arrangements to make,
flowers to receive and thank for, dinner arrangements,
pretending that you accept the pity of a man who hated the
deceased, smiling and thanking those who came to pay their
respects - it's a hard time.  Back to the example with
Thor, a quasi funeral for the death of his love for his
wife, was a casual attempt at looking at the brighter
side.  There's absolutely nothing wrong with a barbeque
and friends, unless your friends are on the barbeque.  I
think that would entice Mr. Hannibal Bowman, that may be
the reason why the pole is so firmly lodged up the Oring.





---James J Rovira <jrovira@juno.com> wrote:
>
> Jordie -- 
> 
> I think we feel sorrow or joy in the face of loss
because of who we are,
> and ascribing our reactions to social conditioning is a
bit off. I do
> agree that the NA ritual of grief  as descrbed in your
post is indeed
> banal and shallow, but that's a reflection of the lack
of consciously and
> intelligently developed ritual in our society, a lack we
experience
> because we live in a society that disregards and
considers taboo
> "societal conditioning..."
> 
> Jim
> 
>
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