Re: zooey cam- the analysis
blah b b blah (jrovira@juno.com)
Fri, 12 Mar 1999 19:19:04 -0500 (EST)
Ok, Meredith, you have an interesting thesis going there. I want you to
know that I disagree with it, but that's ok. That doesn't matter. I
won't even tell you Why I disagree with it. If you were writing a senior
honors thesis or something I'd tell you why, but otherwise, so what? :)
Your thesis could conceivably work.
ANYWAYS, what I think you're trying to do is set up an opposition between
intelligence and religion in your paper. But you don't so much try to
set up the opposition as you assume the opposition and write the paper
taking it for granted. Yes, Franny is a religious character and Zooey
seems to be acting out of his intelligence, but I think you need to look
more deeply than that. I think your point would be more powerfully made
if you demonstrated how Franny's intelligence was working against her
religious impulses to begin with.
I would look more closely at Franny's interaction with Lane. In some
ways Lane was a lot like Zooey, acting out of his intelligence.
Characterize Lane more. What does it mean that he's a "section man"?
And read VERY CLOSELY Franny's letter to Lane, especially the last couple
lines where she says she doesn't want him to analyze everything,
"especially me." So what does "intelligence" mean to Franny?
And, another very important question -- is Franny having problems "with
religion" or having problems with something else and resorting to
religion to deal with it? What is that something else?
Some general advice for your writing...clean it up just a little bit.
Your thoughts moved clearly and freely from one point to the next, but
you could economize just a bit.
Here are a couple suggestions just on the first few sentences. The
original reads:
"J.D. Salinger examines through the characters Franny and Zooey
Glass
the struggle between religion and intelligence in the book
Franny
and Zooey. The book is divided up into two sections, the first
section, Franny, deals with an introduction to Franny, the
character
that represents the religious side of the conflict. The second
section introduces Zooey, who embodies the intelligent part of
the
struggle, and verbalized the struggle with Franny.
At the beginning of Franny the reader is introduced not to
Franny,
but to her boyfriend Lane. Although not part of the religious
struggle, he personifies everything in Franny's life that had
caused
her to seek religion. The setting is in a restaurant where she
loses patience with him, and puts down everything he wants to
talk
about, because it all seems fake to her. The only thing she
had
anything pleasant to say about was when Lane asks her about a
little book he sees in her purse."
Suggested revision (making as few changes as possible and trying to let
you sound like you):
"In _Franny and Zooey_, J.D. Salinger uses the characters Franny and
Zooey Glass to examine the struggle between religion and
intelligence. The book is divided into two sections [you may want
to mention here that "Franny" and "Zooey" were originally independently
released short stories later put together in book form]; the first
section, "Franny," introduces Franny Glass, the character
representing religion in the conflict. The second section
introduces Zooey Glass, who embodies intelligence and verbalized the
struggle with Franny [this last clause is awkward and unclear. Does
he spell out the nature of the conflict in words? Or does he just
verbally abuse her? Or both?]. "Franny" opens with an introduction
to Franny's boyfriend Lane. Although not part of the religious
struggle, he personifies everything in Franny's life that caused
her to seek religion. The story is set is in a restaurant.
During their meal she loses patience with him and everything he
wants to talk about, because it all [their lives? their conversation?
their outlook? be specific] seems fake to her. [reword the opening
clause of this sentence] when Lane asks her about a little book
he sees in her purse."
Good luck
Jim
"The written word is a power of such magnitude that only pedants would
try to reduce it to rules. Or the French."
--F.K.
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