Re: a little project
Jake McHenry (seymour@ktis.net)
Thu, 06 May 1999 01:12:37 -0500
Thanks for the vote of confidence regarding the editorship but I suspect
you are somehow delusional. I am the worst person for such a job. In fact, I
hate writing. The sight of pencils make me red and sweaty and I start
shaking profusely. Any sort of paper product sets me off into a blind rage
and I end up "losing time" and taking it out on the neighborhood dogs and
cats. Small children are frightened of me and I am undoubtedly a source of
terror for them on the level of Keyser Soze. Charles Bukowski was a regular
beauty horse compared to me as my face is pock marked all to hell from
people using my face as an ashtray as I lay face down and passed out at the
bar. I am a horrible drug addict with a penchant for violence. Every flat
surface in my house has a glass or mirrored surface so that I am never
inconvenienced for a place to cut out a line. Truth be told, my habit has
grown to such a monumental proportion that I have to load a shotgun shell
full of cocaine and shoot it directly into my skull with one of my many guns
in order to get any sort of rush whatsoever. I am in full support of book
burning on a global scale and would readily torch entire libraries, with the
exception of the King James version of the Bible and Cujo (That book
ROCKS!!!), if only my parole officer would allow me to possess a lighter or
box of matches. I am only on this damned list because I thought it had
something to do with explaining just exactly how The Catcher in the Rye is
supposed to help me on my mission of destruction. (I heard that the cream of
the crop of the crazies read Salinger and I am just trying to fit in.)
So with that in mind I politely decline.
Yours truly,
-"Crazy" Jake
----- Original Message -----
From: <Hotbuns200@aol.com>
To: <bananafish@lists.nyu.edu>
Sent: Wednesday, May 05, 1999 11:53 PM
Subject: Re: a little project
> I nominate Jake for editor (are you up for it Jake?).