the definite JDS volume

Laughing Man (the_laughing_man@hotmail.com)
Wed, 22 Sep 1999 02:37:36 -0700 (PDT)

>From: citycabn <citycabn@gateway.net>
>By the powers vested in me, I pronounce the definite JDS volume (better 
>even
>than Ellmann on Joyce, Edel on James, Painter on Proust) will be 
>co-authored
>by Sonny, will,  Camille, Tim, Matt,  Paul, Mattis, Rick, Jim, TLM, and
>anyone else willing to sit at that Round Table.  Editor will be Scottie.

Well, since the only 100% Salinger related post I’ve ever contributed to 
this list (according to my fading memory), primarily consists of someone 
else’s quote (yes, re-posted below due to my eternal towards the inventor of 
the copy-and-paste maneuver), I’m touched by your trust, Bruce.

Since I’m currently working on a story where the narrator is talking to the 
bald Marvel Comics Watchman, I might switch that toga wearing moon-guy with 
Seymour and perhaps the story will still work. But I’m afraid it would be 
nothing like a biography – the fictionalizing would be a bit more explicit 
in my story. On the other hand, my Seymour would, of course, be as silent as 
the Seymour in JDS’s stories, which is just perfect, since the Watchman look 
at himself as a silent peeping Tom kind of guy, revealing nothing (totally 
false in his case, however). It would be like when Rosencrantz and 
Guildernstern are trying to question Hamlet: I (sorry, my character I mean) 
will end up telling him everything and getting no answers from him. But I’ll 
throw in the question “why did you marry Muriel?” and watch him trying to 
rationalize his libido, that horny old (well) professor. (Like I said, only 
my own fantasies would come out in the open, he would still be that goddamn 
mystery:-).

Nah, I’ll just continue my discontinuous outburst of joy and sadness.

‘Nuff said, like The Thing used to say. Later, fellow fishes!

/TLM

My promised reposting:

“
I stumbled into this literature bulletin board. There seemed to be many 
students posting there, trying to find out what was in these strange stories 
their teachers made them read. One thread-question went like this (short and 
simple), on the subject “A Perfect Day For Bananafish”:

>Can anyone give me a summary of the plot of this story?
>I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you!

To this, the signature “Wolfie”, answered, just as compact:

>Well, a pedafile takes a girl out in the ocean on a raft, lets his "Magic 
>Johnson" loose
>and tells her to look for a ‘Bananfish’
>The end.

Not a unique statement, but excellent in execution. A Pump Up The 
Volume-like poetry to it all. And the spelling error just made the trick in 
us imagining the author.

-The Laughing Man’

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