Re: A question to Scottie

Scottie Bowman (rbowman@indigo.ie)
Wed, 29 Sep 1999 21:08:25 +0100 

    '... describe the ethics guiding you in this tough old world,
    helping you to behave properly ...'

    TLM, there isn't really any mystery.  The older I grow
    the less am I able to deny the evil principle in the world
    & the awareness that at some early stage in my life I unwittingly
    entered into a contract with it.

    When I was a little boy, my great ambition was to be
    a minister of the Church of Scotland.  For my eighth birthday
    (born on December 23, I tended to identify with the Christ
    Child) I requested - & was given - the Holy Bible.  That was me:
    a child born on the Sabbath Day - bonny & bright & good & gay.
    Leaving aside the later connonation of 'gay', that more or less
    has remained my image in the eyes of friends, family & patients.
    Jovial old Doc Bowman, raises your spirits & gets you well.
    Adored by dogs, children, young women &, especially, cats.

    But inside the story has been very different.

    A couple of years after that bible arrived in the house, this chap
    came around the houses selling the most terrific, home-made
    Italian ice cream.  Now that I think of it, he looked a bit like Pacino.
    He had one of those autograph books that were all the rage
    in the 30s.  He offered me all the hokey pokey I could eat if
    I'd write something in his book & sign it.  I was more than
    delighted to comply.

    Within the hour, I could sense the most delicious, indescribable
    change taking place.  I began to see things in a very different light.
    In particular, those religious yearnings had turned to a violent -
    yet thrilling - phobia.  I found myself cringing away from the doors
    of churchs & chapels.  The sight of great cathedrals filled me with
    heart-stopping thoughts of pyromania.  A stained glass window
    made my hand itchy for the stone.  One glimpse of the candid face
    of goodness, whether Mother Theresa or Franny Glass or Billy Graham
    or Tiny Tim Crotchett & my eyes became emeralds, the old fangs
    started to sharpen & the surrounding air turned sulphurous.

    That's the way it was & that's the way it has remained.  I can truly
    recommend it.  The rewards are immeasurable.

    As the Scorpion says as he sinks his friend the Frog
    & himself with that last, crazy, fatal sting:
    'I'm real sorry.  It's my nature.'

    Scottie B.